...

"Tears are like blood in the wounds of the soul."
-Gregory of Nyssa.


Sometimes people confuse me.
Relationship with people sometimes can get pretty messy and bruise your heart real bad.

I am tired.

I feel like I am burnt out, the well of emotions dried up, and my heart so numb and indifferent.
Never before God felt so silent, and His presence so distant and almost absent…


When I think I am happy and satisfied with this little world of mine, I feel empty and vain. A shell of hollow happiness with nothing inside…
The moment I think I’ve got it all figured out, the Holy Spirit breaks through my pride, and I can only claim to not know anything.
The harder I try to control my life, the more lost I get.

It's like trying to decorate one's little world in the way one wants it to be; yellow on this wall, and flowers in this corner..
Only to realize that one could never control what's inside, because yellow did not want to be on that wall, and the flowers rather wanted stay in the centre, because yellow was not meant for that wall, and the flowers were not created to be in the corner.
When one realizes that one has too many messy webs and too many things stuffed in this little world,
The little world pops, and i, disillusioned.
Thus having a blank world in one's hands once again...


Father God, I yet do not know, and I yet do not see Your ways.
Will You just walk with me…

Will You just be with me…


-Kim.