Morning.

i love morning, because it's when last night's hope of tomorrow has become the present.
the warmth of the morning sunshine overflows within me, and the singing of the birds are so delightful.
morning makes me joyful and hopeful.
it makes me simply happy.
have a great day!
love,
-kim.

Unsettled Days.

talking to a truly dear friend of mine and listening to her cries and struggles, i don't feel so good. finding out that my dear friend is going through a rough time, i feel troubled. i am sad. i don't feel so good..
oh, my dear friend... i am always praying for you.

i feel a little out of order and confused these days.
i finally went home and had a good talk with my parents and i feel confused maybe i shouldn't be feeling confused but i am confused.
my priorities confused.
my identity confused.

"Order brings freedom." -Courage and Calling

love,
-kim, searching for order in her life,, the natural rhythm and the harmonious melody of the ordered life.

p.s. i've been serving at the creative arts ministry at my church, and thus doing some art.

art is good, and i am way behind my readings. no good.


have an awesome week, guys!

more love,
-kimmy.

"I Cannot Breathe."

what am i going to do after i graduate?
where am i heading?
what am i going to do with my life?
have you ever been scared of life .. what life will bring?
i am tired of trying to divine the future, if you know what i mean...

i wish .. i wish with one big sigh of breath, i could breathe again...


-kim.

p.s. one thing i love about my work is colour-coordinating the clothes. oh, and i also take joy in steaming the clothes, too. sometimes i get so into them that i am totally guilty of ignoring some customers.. haha...

p.s.s. according to my friend, i may have minor-ly fractured my rib. this sounds quite random and funny, but seriously. i fell down on a chair, and my rib has been hurting ever since. it hurts when i laugh and sneeze.. :(

Campus Challenge.

wow.

campus challenge was AWESOME!!!!!

met some awesome, awesome, GREAT people, from and with whom i learned just SOOOO MUCH!!

wow.

wow.

wow.




WOW.



-kim.

Prayers.

some thoughts on prayers:

-not to pray in vain.
-not to pray in empty words.
-not to pray out of formality.
-to sincerely mean what i pray.
-to truly believe in what i pray.
-to pray out of wisdom.
what are we praying? what are we praying for? the importance wise prayers..
-to believe in the power and the realness of prayers.
-to believe in the realness of God in our lives.
-letting God work in our lives.
-letting God make a difference in our lives and in the world for His glory.
-a time to talk and to listen to God.
-having a personal relationship with God.


random insights of others:

*"only Jesus can make you truly happy."
*as a brother shared today, i learned more about what it is to live for Jesus and what it is to believe in God's love for each one of us.

whenever leaders come up and share,
-i am always amazed by and admire their Jesus-driven life.
-i realize that they too are humans who struggle with many things.
-but it is how they deal with the struggles that make me respect them as men and women of God.

*"praise God. praise God. praise God even during our troubled times."




once again, we lay our worries and concerns that distract us, we lay the toughness of life that tires and drains us. help us to surrender our lives and to trust in You, so that we may live a life that lights this broken world...

pray to the Lord unceasingly.

-kim, praying for wisdom.

p.s. i will be going to Campus Challenge over the long weekend.
the theme verse is "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by THE RENEWING OF THE MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what GOD'S WILL is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."
[-Romans 12:2]

Random Thoughts.

-school.
this summer, i want to excell in school. not just for the marks' sake, but i really want to be able to learn. i want to develop perseverance, discipline, and humility. i want to, and i am going to.

determination.

-beauty and women.
what does beauty mean to women? what is being beautiful? who is a beautiful woman? to be the beauty.. any thoughts on this??

-the power of prayer.
to pray. to truly believe in prayers...

-kim.

p.s. i got so tipsy with a glass of wine today. hahaha. oh, downtown... :)
p.s.s. yo! white wine tastes so much better than red wine. never knew..

Newness.

here i am, sitting in my new room, munching on cereal with yogurt, and thinking, "man... how in the world am i going to survive??"

summer school starts tomorrow, and the house is still such a mess.
people's suitcases and boxes full of stuff lying around everywhere.
and my room was so cold last night!
the just renovated house is surely clean but yet not tamed by the human hands.

everything at the moment seems so un-homey and rather foreign.

so here i am, sitting in my new room, thinking, "this is not my home, and i miss my mom's food..."

i am so done with cleaning, trying to buy house items, doing the grocery... i am so done with all that.. ALREADY!! hahaha.



for once, i can't wait till SCHOOL. for once, i am craving for the REGULARITIES of life. and for once, i am missing the comfort and the smell of HOME.


-kim.

My Boss At Work.

my boss at work and i were chatting, and i found out that she is a christian.

"i was converted a long time ago, but always so fresh like a baby", said she. "your parents may be against you. your friends may betray you. but you've got to believe that God is always there for you. it is this inner peace you get."

then her eyes became red with tears.

i know she went through stuff, and what kind of stuff i won't say and i don't completely know anyhow, but whatever she went through in her life .. with God .. the talk of it made her eyes to tear.

her teared eyes were the reflection of honest feelings of her soul.

her eyes teared for less than twenty seconds or even ten seconds, but it indeed was one of those timeless and lasting moments.

i am blessed.

blessings. God's blessings. and joys of life.

-kim.




p.s. by the way i finally moved in today. finally!

Clothes.

working at a clothing store makes me wonder what clothes are to human beings.
adam and eve clothed themselves, because as a consequence of eating an apple from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they became ashamed of their nakedness.
for many nowadays clothes and fashion signify one's identity.

today an old lady came into the store with a shawl over her head and asked,
"i am looking for something for a wedding. i need something that can cover my skin. i have cancer, so i lost a lot of weight. so i need a shirt that can cover my skin, because it doesn't look so nice, you know. i have cancer, and i need something to go to a wedding."

-kim.



from now on let me tell you stories of others friends. :)

Random Insights.

more insights from "Courage and Calling":

Gordon T. Smith argues that God is good, but life is unfair and that it is a broken and cruel world that we live in, so just toughen it up & suck it up!

"Are we consumed by ourselves and filled with self-pity and anger, or does our very encounter with pain become a vehicle by which we are a means of grace to others? the issue is not whether we experience difficulty, that will inevitably happen. we will not be treated as we should be treated. we will not be thanked as much as we deserve. less competent people will get positions for which we were more qualified. we will be overlooked and not appreciated because of false perception. we will be misunderstood, underappreciated and wrongly accused. the issue is how we respond."

SO I CHOOSE TO SAY NO TO SELF-PITY, SELF-ABSORPTION, AND THE FEELING OF BEING "VICTIMIZED". NO MORE.

at church today:

"I AM NOBODY."
"I AM NOBODY, BUT I KNOW SOMEBODY."
"I AM NOBODY, BUT I KNOW SOMEBODY, AND THAT SOMEBODY IS JESUS CHRIST."

"I AM NOBODY, BUT I KNOW SOMEBODY."


"I AM NOBODY."

-kimmy, learning to listen [to really really truly listen], and thanking God.

True Learning.

there was a time when i used to celebrate the irrationality, the unpredictability, and the rebellious nature of the avant-garde. there was a time when i used to idolize the confidence in the eyes of picasso. there was once a time when i tried to be like one, when 'a picasso' wasn't me, who i am, and my role in this world. i now begin to celebrate the goodness of reason and thinking. i learned the hard way the lesson of the difference between empty creativity/art [creativity/art for the sake of creativity/art] and creativity/art rooted in maturity and wisdom [the true creativity/art].

i often tell my friends that God defies culture, philosophy, history, and anthropology, because He is timeless, universal, and thus true. how dangerous this is. and how wrong i am. how wrong i was to put God in a little box of dualism of the sacred [the religious & the good] and the real [the evil..?]. my god was so small that he couldn't even be there in my daily life. i realize that once again i have underestimated God, underestimated life.

i want to be a wholesome and wise Christian.

"Wisdom is not the comprehension of abstract principles or profound truths so much as it is the capacity to respond to the developments around us with ingenuity and to become mature emotionally through difficult setbacks and disappointments. ... In the pursuit of wisdom we seek deep understanding so that we will be people in whom there is both depth of conviction and focus that is not self-centered or superficial. The pursuit of wisdom is eminently practical, for a wise person longs to make a difference. ... Finally, the pursuit of wisdom integrates mind and heart. A wise person is interested in knowledge that informs the whole person and enables us to live in truth. Wisdom is not cerebral or analytical; it includes our emotions and our bodies. To grow in wisdom demands that we learn to think and act holistically."
-from Courage and Calling by Gordon T. Smith.

perhaps being courageous is not about having the guts to be counter-cultural for the fun of being rebellious against the "norms" of the soceity. life is not about having fear, darkness, craziness, and abnormal lifestyle and personality as the source of one's creativity, art, confidence, passion, and 'wisdom', as some artists boast. perhaps a truly courageous and wise person is someone who can respect and obey the authorities, though as plain and uninteresting as it sounds..

so who is my role model now?

to learn.
learning.
true learning.

i think one of the keys to wisdom and true learning comes from humility, which comes from knowing who God is and who we are in comparison.

to truly learn means to be humble enough
-to put God and others above ourselves with a sense of self
-to open our eyes, ears, minds and hearts, and to listen
-to be able to take criticism, to admit our mistakes, and to amend them

i want to be be a person who can truly learn.

"The genius of good mentoring is the capacity to bring hope and encouragement, believing in people so that they can learn, grow, and embrace all that they are called to be. The genius of learning from a mentor is found in a posture of eager attentiveness that reflects a longing for wisdom and a longing for learning. But because some of us are so confident in our own wisdom or are incapable of saying that we do not know all we need to know, we never know the joy of being mentored."
-from Courage and Calling by Gordon T. Smith



-kim.

Mistakes and Blessings in Life.

so i made another mistake. it was a life lesson that had to be learnt and that must not happen again.

i am blessed to have parents who rebuke me with such love and wisdom; who tell me not to dream in vain but to live life; and who tell me not to lie to myself about myself but to face the reality, the truth, and who i really am, and to live accordingly.
parents who teach me about myself, people, what life is and how to live.

i am blessed to have a true friend who is more than a best friend. i thank you friends. thank you for praying for me.

i thank God for today. what a day...

please continue to pray for kimmy. thank you.

-kim.